September 22, 2013

Don't Read This Post...

Don't read this post. It's sad, especially if you're a dog lover. I put this out there for my own closure. To try and let it go. I don't want to talk about it, I know you are there for me and understand how hard it is and I thank you for that.
A week ago we lost our baby...Cooper. It was a sad sad sad day...week…eventually...a month in our house. Most of you know Cooper had been having physical issues for the last year but his head and spirit were still in the game and he didn't seem to be in any pain and couldn't care less that he stumbled around. People would gasp and feel sorry for him but he would get up and go on his way, no shame. We got him a harness to help him around, I got blisters on my hand. We all managed the best we could.

Until the last two days of his life, when he couldn't walk and finally told us...it's time. I said to him and to Bernie, I can't do this anymore, it's not fair. Cooper looked back at me and said, it's time. That was the first time he ever showed his defeat. The next day I stayed home from my trip and spent the day with him. He sat by me all day, getting loved and petted but never moving off his bed. He was so happy to be there, it made me question our decision....he had an appointment at 3pm. But when I saw him unable to move I knew it was right. We spent the last couple of hours in the back yard, loving him as he laid in the grass. 

When we were at the vet he could barely walk in but once he was settled he was so alive. So interested in what was happening. We loved him and fed him lots of treats. The fact he was still so with-it made it all the harder. But trying  to help a 110lb dog move had gotten to be very very hard. When he was laying down, all that was forgotten. I know in my head we did what was right but my heart hasn't caught up to that decision. I sob to write this. Goodbye Cooper, we love you. Good dog.
good bye my baby



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